What’s that in my coffee?

Dear Editor –

Yes, I have a garden. And yes, I like to spend time in it. I like mornings the most, when I levitate on my porch and I admire my beautiful hydrangeas. I then make myself some coffee and happy in the knowledge that any minute now the postman will bring me the latest edition of the Asteroid Daily. And just a quick side remark that I really enjoyed your April Fool’s joke that humans had turned into pacifists – good joke!

However, what has become of concern over the past few days is that all sorts of strange objects have been landing in my coffee. A screw landed in my hot beverage, causing it to spray and stain my white kimono. Another time, I even fished out a piece of small antenna.

I know that the problem of human waste in the cosmos is becoming more and more cumbersome, but up until now this whole trash heap was floating above us – and now it’s beginning to fall on our heads! Will sitting in my beautiful garden become a life-threatening extreme sport? Please do something about this! You have a correspondent on Earth, can he finally explain to people that their behaviour is affecting how others lead their lives? Or do they really think that the universe revolves around them? Perhaps it is high time to raise their awareness and expand their horizons? I’m counting on you.